As a parent, you want the best for your children. You want them to be healthy, successful, and fulfilled in life. Emotional intelligence (EI) plays a big role in this regard. High levels of EI are a better predictor of success. Studies show that in the long term, success has more to do with EI than IQ.  

So, what exactly is EI? It is the set of skills that help you to assess, regulate and express your emotions. Not only that, but it is also your ability to notice, understand and respond to the emotions of others. Click here to know all about EI: What is Emotional Intelligence?. And the best part about EI is that your children can begin learning these skills at any age. 

Benefits of EI for Children 

Studies over the past decades found that EI helps your child throughout their life. Children who can calm themselves when angry, are likely to do well in other tough situations. When your children healthily express their emotions, they make healthier and strong connections. Let’s look at some other ways EI works as an asset for your children.  

1. Studies found that high EI is linked to high IQ. High EI helps your children perform better and get higher grades in school. 
2. With EI skills your children manage conflicts better and create strong bonds.
3. The American Journal of Public Health conducted a 19-year study on EI. Their study shows that childhood EI leads to higher success in adult life. Children who showed higher EI skills at age 5 were more likely to get college degrees and start a full-time job by age 25.
4. Higher levels of EI improve the mental health of your children. They are calmer with reduced stress levels. And also, less likely to suffer from mental health issues. 

Along with the above, EI has a lot of other benefits for your children. Check here: Importance of Emotional Intelligence. And the good thing is, your children can learn this set of skills at any age. They only need you to teach them how.

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child– Tips and Suggestions 

As we mentioned above, you can help your children learn EI skills at any age. Here are some of the ways to do this.  

1. Emotions as a Tool to Connect with Your Children

Stay calm when your children are grumpy, sad, or angry. Meet the force of their emotions with your calm presence. At the same time, do not deny their emotions but accept them. Your children will repress their feelings if you react in a negative way. These feelings do not fade away but get trapped inside. If not treated in a healthy way, these feelings and emotions will find a way out. This will be in the form of a full-blown temper tantrum or any other negative response. Instead, use these emotions to connect on a deeper level with your children. 

Help your children pinpoint how they are feeling. Put a name on their emotions. It helps your children know more about the emotions and feelings they go through. And, this does not have to be negative emotions only. Educate your children about positive emotions too. Next time, your children will assess their emotions and put them correctly into words. 

2. Show Empathy to Form Empathy in Your Children

Next time your child gets upset, do not dismiss them. Instead, show empathy and try to understand their emotions and validate their feelings. Be generous and teach with empathy to your children. Instead, accept and try to understand what they are going through. Do not judge but reflect on and validate your child’s feelings. As an example, if your child gets upset and cries because you told them not to play till they finish their homework. Instead, say something like this. “I know what you are going through. I also feel upset when I cannot do fun activities I like. It’s hard to keep working when you do not want to”. This way, your children realize that you understand what they are feeling at the moment. This way you can help them to understand emotions in a better way.  Because now they know you understand why they are upset.   

3. Show Your Children Right Ways to Express Feelings 

Teach your children to show and express their emotions in a socially right manner. Be a role model for your children by modeling these skills yourself. If you are angry or hurt, don’t shout or scream at your children. Try saying this in front of them, “I feel hurt”. You can also draw a picture of a sad face which depicts your feelings. Encourage your children to express their feelings in other calm and creative ways. You can also use the “feel” word when talking with your children. As an example, “I feel happy when we play together after you finish your homework.” Use this word for different emotions and feelings with your child. 

4. Be Role Model and Teach Social Skills to Your Children 

Since you became a parent, are you cut off from your social circle? Are you too busy to connect with your friends now? As we mentioned above, you are the primary role model for your children. You have to be the person you want them to be. Join your social circle again. Pick the phone and connect with your old friends. Arrange for a get-together with your friends that includes your children. Your children observe and follow you. They learn a lot when you navigate different social situations. Also, teach your children about social norms, good values, and setting social boundaries. Teach them the difference between right and wrong. This experience helps your children make healthy relations and good friends. Your children create strong bonds, and fruitful long-lasting friendships themselves.  

5. Teach Your Children Healthy Coping Skills

An essential part of EI is to teach your children how to deal with emotions in a healthy way. Handling too many emotions will seem tough to your children at first. The key is to teach them specific skills. For example, teach your children to calm themselves by taking deep breaths when they are angry. Teach them simple yoga techniques like “bubble breaths”. Here they take deep breaths through their nose and exhale through their mouths. Devise other ways to engage your children’s senses and calm their emotions when they are upset. Create kits like coloring books, soothing lotions, or a music playlist. All these help your children regulate their feelings themselves. Next time they are upset, ask them to use these kits and tools to manage their emotions. 

6. Teach Your children Problem-Solving Skills

To learn how to solve problems is also an essential part of building EI. Teach your children how to fix the problems that upset them. For example, your child is angry that their friend wants to play a different game. Ask your child to come up with different solutions for this problem. These solutions do not need to be the next million-dollar idea. The main thing is to come up with different solutions. Once your child comes up with the ideas, help them assess their pros and cons. Then ask them to pick the best one. Try the same approach if your child makes any mistakes. Ask them what they could have done differently to prevent the mistake. Ask them to come up with different ideas to repair or undo the damage done. In all these instances, you only act as a coach and let your child be the actual problem solver. This helps your child have faith in themselves to be a problem-solver. They become more confident and self-assured in the process.  

Final Thoughts

So, these are some tips for raising an emotionally intelligent child. Learning EI is an ongoing process that goes on throughout life. Include EI skill-build-up into your children’s daily life. For younger ones, these can include situations from their favorite books. With older children, talk about real-life situations they may face. Use their mistakes to help them grow better. With your ongoing support, your children build EI skills and mental strength, and success in life. 

As a parent, you want the best for your children. You want them to be healthy, successful, and fulfilled in life. Emotional intelligence (EI) plays a big role in this regard. High levels of EI are a better predictor of success. Studies show that in the long term, success has more to do with EI than IQ.  

So, what exactly is EI? It is the set of skills that help you to assess, regulate and express your emotions. Not only that, but it is also your ability to notice, understand and respond to the emotions of others. Click here to know all about EI: What is Emotional Intelligence?. And the best part about EI is that your children can begin learning these skills at any age. 

Benefits of EI for Children 

Studies over the past decades found that EI helps your child throughout their life. Children who can calm themselves when angry, are likely to do well in other tough situations. When your children healthily express their emotions, they make healthier and strong connections. Let’s look at some other ways EI works as an asset for your children.  

1. Studies found that high EI is linked to high IQ. High EI helps your children perform better and get higher grades in school. 
2. With EI skills your children manage conflicts better and create strong bonds.
3. The American Journal of Public Health conducted a 19-year study on EI. Their study shows that childhood EI leads to higher success in adult life. Children who showed higher EI skills at age 5 were more likely to get college degrees and start a full-time job by age 25.
4. Higher levels of EI improve the mental health of your children. They are calmer with reduced stress levels. And also, less likely to suffer from mental health issues. 

Along with the above, EI has a lot of other benefits for your children. Check here: Importance of Emotional Intelligence. And the good thing is, your children can learn this set of skills at any age. They only need you to teach them how.

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child– Tips and Suggestions 

As we mentioned above, you can help your children learn EI skills at any age. Here are some of the ways to do this.  

1. Emotions as a Tool to Connect with Your Children

Stay calm when your children are grumpy, sad, or angry. Meet the force of their emotions with your calm presence. At the same time, do not deny their emotions but accept them. Your children will repress their feelings if you react in a negative way. These feelings do not fade away but get trapped inside. If not treated in a healthy way, these feelings and emotions will find a way out. This will be in the form of a full-blown temper tantrum or any other negative response. Instead, use these emotions to connect on a deeper level with your children. 

Help your children pinpoint how they are feeling. Put a name on their emotions. It helps your children know more about the emotions and feelings they go through. And, this does not have to be negative emotions only. Educate your children about positive emotions too. Next time, your children will assess their emotions and put them correctly into words. 

2. Show Empathy to Form Empathy in Your Children

Next time your child gets upset, do not dismiss them. Instead, show empathy and try to understand their emotions and validate their feelings. Be generous and teach with empathy to your children. Instead, accept and try to understand what they are going through. Do not judge but reflect on and validate your child’s feelings. As an example, if your child gets upset and cries because you told them not to play till they finish their homework. Instead, say something like this. “I know what you are going through. I also feel upset when I cannot do fun activities I like. It’s hard to keep working when you do not want to”. This way, your children realize that you understand what they are feeling at the moment. This way you can help them to understand emotions in a better way.  Because now they know you understand why they are upset.   

3. Show Your Children Right Ways to Express Feelings 

Teach your children to show and express their emotions in a socially right manner. Be a role model for your children by modeling these skills yourself. If you are angry or hurt, don’t shout or scream at your children. Try saying this in front of them, “I feel hurt”. You can also draw a picture of a sad face which depicts your feelings. Encourage your children to express their feelings in other calm and creative ways. You can also use the “feel” word when talking with your children. As an example, “I feel happy when we play together after you finish your homework.” Use this word for different emotions and feelings with your child. 

4. Be Role Model and Teach Social Skills to Your Children 

Since you became a parent, are you cut off from your social circle? Are you too busy to connect with your friends now? As we mentioned above, you are the primary role model for your children. You have to be the person you want them to be. Join your social circle again. Pick the phone and connect with your old friends. Arrange for a get-together with your friends that includes your children. Your children observe and follow you. They learn a lot when you navigate different social situations. Also, teach your children about social norms, good values, and setting social boundaries. Teach them the difference between right and wrong. This experience helps your children make healthy relations and good friends. Your children create strong bonds, and fruitful long-lasting friendships themselves.  

5. Teach Your Children Healthy Coping Skills

An essential part of EI is to teach your children how to deal with emotions in a healthy way. Handling too many emotions will seem tough to your children at first. The key is to teach them specific skills. For example, teach your children to calm themselves by taking deep breaths when they are angry. Teach them simple yoga techniques like “bubble breaths”. Here they take deep breaths through their nose and exhale through their mouths. Devise other ways to engage your children’s senses and calm their emotions when they are upset. Create kits like coloring books, soothing lotions, or a music playlist. All these help your children regulate their feelings themselves. Next time they are upset, ask them to use these kits and tools to manage their emotions. 

6. Teach Your children Problem-Solving Skills

To learn how to solve problems is also an essential part of building EI. Teach your children how to fix the problems that upset them. For example, your child is angry that their friend wants to play a different game. Ask your child to come up with different solutions for this problem. These solutions do not need to be the next million-dollar idea. The main thing is to come up with different solutions. Once your child comes up with the ideas, help them assess their pros and cons. Then ask them to pick the best one. Try the same approach if your child makes any mistakes. Ask them what they could have done differently to prevent the mistake. Ask them to come up with different ideas to repair or undo the damage done. In all these instances, you only act as a coach and let your child be the actual problem solver. This helps your child have faith in themselves to be a problem-solver. They become more confident and self-assured in the process.  

Final Thoughts

So, these are some tips for raising an emotionally intelligent child. Learning EI is an ongoing process that goes on throughout life. Include EI skill-build-up into your children’s daily life. For younger ones, these can include situations from their favorite books. With older children, talk about real-life situations they may face. Use their mistakes to help them grow better. With your ongoing support, your children build EI skills and mental strength, and success in life.